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Ingredients:
 This cheesecake is very rich and creamy, and not for children. You should plan to make it a day ahead of serving.
Crust:
1 C. chocolate cookie crumbs
1/4 C. butter, softened
2 T. white sugar
1/4 tsp. baking cocoa
Cake:
3 (8 oz.) packages cream cheese, softened
1 C. white sugar
3 eggs
8 (1 oz.) squares semisweet chocolate
2 T. whipping cream
1 C. sour cream
1/8 tsp. salt
3/4 C. Guinness
Topping:
1 C. heavy whipping cream
3 T. confectioners' sugar
2 T. Guinness
First of all, preheat your oven to 350 F (175 C), and move a rack to the middle position. Then, pour yourself a beverage. Today, we are drinking Strongbow, because it's an awesome English cider. Never you mind that Guinness is Irish, we are multi-cultural around here.
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Step 1:
 Next, butter a 9 or 10 inch springform pan.
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Step 2:
 Then take some foil and wrap the bottom of it. It helps if you have the extra-wide foil - the foil is to keep the water of the water bath OUT of the cake, because soggy cheesecake is bad. Either way, wrap it up the sides, then trim the edges, and don't rip it.
As evidenced by the pictures, I chose to wrap and then butter. It works either way, so long as both are done before the next step.
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Step 3:
 Since I cannot find chocolate cookie crumbs in the store, I am forced to buy chocolate cookies and crush them my self. I find that a ziploc bag and a rolling pin work very well for this, especially since I don't have a food processor. If you have one, feel free to use it.
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Step 4:
 Once you've got your crumbs well-crushed, combine them with the sugar and butter in a small bowl, and mix well.
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Step 5:
 Pat this mixture gently into the bottom of your pan, then set the pan aside. Carefully. It should look something like this.
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Step 6:
 Then take a medium-sized bowl and throw your cream cheese in there. It is very important that it is softened. Beat it until it's smooth. If there are lumps in there now, you will be a sad when the cheesecake is done.
I had to use a hand mixer to make my cheesecake.
Gradually add the 1 C. sugar, beating, again, until smooth. And don't forget to scrape down the bowl once in a while.
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Step 7:
 Add the eggs, one at a time.
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Step 8:
 Beat at low speed until it is the super smooth, and a beautiful buttery-yellow color.
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Step 9:
 Unwrap your 8 oz. chocolate, and melt them together with the 2 T. whipping cream.
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Step 10:
 You have two options here - a double-boiler, or 2 to 3 minutes in the microwave. You choose. Either way, stir it until smooth. While you're at it, put a big pot of water on to boil; you'll need it in a bit.
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Step 11:
 Add the chocolate mixture to the cream cheese mixture. Say goodbye to your perfect buttery-yellow batter.
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Step 12:
 Stir in the sour cream and salt.
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Step 13:
 You have not lived until you've seen Guinness settling in a Pyrex measuring cup.
Pour yourself the rest of the Guinness (and maybe save 2 T. of it if you don't want to crack open another later).
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Step 14:
 Add your measured out Guinness to your cheesecake, creating an unholy matrimony of two of the greatest things on earth. Don't forget all of the head.
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Step 15:
 Pour this delicious mixture into your prepared pan. I find that it helps immensely to have my pan in its waterbath pan as well.
Place this on your oven rack, and add the boiling water (from that pot from earlier) until it is halfway up the sides of the pan. Since I was baking alone, there are no pictures of this event, but rest assured, it was steamy.
Gently slide your cake in the oven, and bake for 45 minutes at 350 F.
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Step 16:
 After 45 minutes, the cake should still be wobbling like a drunken sailor in the center. This is a good thing.
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Step 17:
 Turn your oven off, crack the door, and set your timer for another 45 minutes, and let the cake gradually cool off in the turned-off oven.
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Step 18:
 Once the timer goes off again, remove your cheesecake, and remove the foil from the bottom of the pan. Run a knife around the outside edge to loosen it, cover it loosely, and stick it in the fridge for 12 hours.
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Step 19:
 The next day (or day after), make some whipped cream. Pour the remainder of your whipping cream (or 1 C. exactly, whatever) into a bowl. Add your sugar, and if you can find it, add a packet of whipped cream stabiliser. I find that it works exactly as advertised and prevents runny whipped cream from happening. If you want matching-flavored whipped cream, add the 2 T. Guinness. Otherwise don't worry about it.
Beat it to whip it up.
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Step 20:
 Run your knife around the outside edge again, and remove the outer portion of the springform pan. Slice yourself a delicious slice of cheesecake, and top it with whipped cream.
If you are fancy, you can evenly spread the whipped cream around the top of the cheesecake, then top with chocolate leaves or clovers.
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